Neva Eva {that's never ever for ya'll who don't speak street...}

Just for fun...10 things Newlywed Wife would never do!

1. Eat guacamole. Ew. Green goop mixed with chunks of stuff. It looks like snot. O.U.T.

2. Be a contestant on Survivor. I despise camping, but camping with a bunch of bloodthirsty strangers, no access to a good manicurist, a distinct lack of power outlets in which to plug in my 27 hair styling tools, and no wine? No thank you.

3. Wear that god-awful puke-mustard color. Or burnt orange. Or lime green.

4. Voluntarily watch Law and Order.

5. Drive like a lady. I curse, make angry gestures, cut people off, and drive at minimum 10 miles over the speed limit.

6. Enjoy having a massage. Being {nearly} naked while a stranger prods me is just weird.

7. Take organized transit willingly. Subways? Out. Trains? Out. Taxis? Only in NYC. Buses? I would rather rollerblade, thank you. I'm too much of a control freak and possess a massive phobia of strangers touching me. I know, it's unnatural.

8. Be caught in public without mascara.

9. Play softball. Ball flying at my head at high speed? Nope. Something requiring hand-eye coordination, running, and possible physical contact? I'm out. I'll cheer and drink beer.

10. Divorce my husband. We're in it for life. That's the end of the discussion.

What are some things you'd never do?