Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Mrs.O,

Michelle, let's talk. Just us girls. First of all, this is not in any way a political rant, or an effort to bring the subject of your husband's political views into my bedazzled and sequined little blog. I have no desire to talk politics. Just ask my husband, who has to listen to me whine every time he even attempts to change the channel from the Style Network or Bravo to something slightly more edifying...such as CNN.

I am much more interested in chatting about your First Lady STYLE than any old stuffy state of the nation. Shhh, I know I sound superficial here. Let me clarify that I'd love to hear about your charity work, worthy causes that I can contribute to, etc. But listening to the horrifying stories about global warfare, economic crashes, and terrorism can kind of give a girl a complex after a while.

Let's get down to the fun stuff, starting with this fabulousness:
Honey, that's some really great hair! Love it!

Let's not ever go back to this, ok? It kinda makes you look like Whitney, and let's face it - if you're not going to start belting out "And I Will Always Love You" then this hairstyle is just not for you.

There is good 'BIG hair', and there is, how shall we say...atrocious, poorly executed bouffant hair. This? This is good 'BIG hair'. I'm a Texan, and we know big hair - trust me!

Now, on to the fun stuff (as we all know that one's hair is a serious business, and one not to be joked with).

Betsey Johnson - honey we ALLL know how fabulous she is. But please, I am down on both of my knobby little knees begging you - DON'T ever wear this dress. It's just a bit gauche for the First Lady.

The always-classy Oscar de la Renta? Gorgeous - and love that he does not forget the little Obama's as well. They are growing up to be beautiful like their mama - yes? You've got simply fab arms, so I'd work the sleeveless thing for all it's worth. If only I had your muscle tone...sigh. (Oh wait, that would require working out - never mind, then).

Zac Posen seems to be on a one-man mission to ugly you up. Don't fall for his cute little baby-face - he is trying to make you older and more severe than you actually are.

Oh my. I can't decide which it is: the 80's bangs, the puffed sleeves, or the fringe on the arms that are the most disturbing? Either way Michelle, my dear - don't fall for the charms of Zac P.

Ah yes...beauty. Wear Monique Lhuillier EVERY CHANCE YOU GET. This is simply gorgeous. You have the height for such a voluminous dress (lucky girl), so take a few risks with proportion.

Good luck Michelle (and hubby) - and keep rocking the shift dresses - they're totally working for you!


Mrs. Adventurous Newlywed

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