Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Neva Eva {that's never ever for ya'll who don't speak street...}

Just for fun...10 things Newlywed Wife would never do!

1. Eat guacamole. Ew. Green goop mixed with chunks of stuff. It looks like snot. O.U.T.

2. Be a contestant on Survivor. I despise camping, but camping with a bunch of bloodthirsty strangers, no access to a good manicurist, a distinct lack of power outlets in which to plug in my 27 hair styling tools, and no wine? No thank you.

3. Wear that god-awful puke-mustard color. Or burnt orange. Or lime green.

4. Voluntarily watch Law and Order.

5. Drive like a lady. I curse, make angry gestures, cut people off, and drive at minimum 10 miles over the speed limit.

6. Enjoy having a massage. Being {nearly} naked while a stranger prods me is just weird.

7. Take organized transit willingly. Subways? Out. Trains? Out. Taxis? Only in NYC. Buses? I would rather rollerblade, thank you. I'm too much of a control freak and possess a massive phobia of strangers touching me. I know, it's unnatural.

8. Be caught in public without mascara.

9. Play softball. Ball flying at my head at high speed? Nope. Something requiring hand-eye coordination, running, and possible physical contact? I'm out. I'll cheer and drink beer.

10. Divorce my husband. We're in it for life. That's the end of the discussion.

What are some things you'd never do?

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yours truly... said...

LOL!! Your list gas me cracking up! Probably because I see waaaay too many things that I would not ever do!! Except I love guacamole....paired with a margarita of course!!!

Cee said...

I am with you on never wearing lime green...but I love guacamole.

I hate camping too but would consider going on survivor to lose weight! I think it could work as a quick diet haha!

Lovin a Farm Boy said...

LOL love your list! You know all my neva eva's so I'll just ditto the divorce one.

Children of the Nineties said...

Haha, this makes me laugh, despite my deep-seated love for guacamole. I would certainly die on Survivor though, I'm with you on that one. Where would I plug in my straightener?

Imjustagirl said...

There are lots of things i'd neva eva but I NEVA EVA wear mascara I probably should but I don't! I also agree with you about being in it for life!

Jules said...

I am with you on #2,#4 & #7. I would never skydive. I'm too scared!

Kate said...

How can you not like Law and Order? The old episodes were so good!

Massages creep me out

KendraJane said...

I agree... the green stuff sucks! :) I think your list is motivating me to write a list tomorrow!

jen + ryan said...

ooooh you should really re-think the whole massage thing... it's my favorite thing in the world (except ryan).

i won't eat guac either. ick.

jen + ryan said...

or divorce. duh.