Friday, February 27, 2009

Newlywed Wife-isms - Oklahoma Edition.

Newlywed Wife here - still here in Midwest City, Oklahoma! Several of the amusing things that I've heard today:

From the General Manager upon seeing me this morning (wearing what I thought was a fairly conservative Ann Taylor dress)... "Well, don't you look spicy today!"

From one of the Sales Managers..."Can I get an application to be your next husband? I have a really cute daughter who was born with all of her organs outside of her body, and she needs a mommy. Oh, and you're smokin'." (Trust me, I didn't ask for clarification on his daughter's organ location, and also refrained from informing him that 'you're smokin' is not a good pick-up line).

From my sales rep, who has been up here part of the time with me, "When I worked in the car business in OK 15 years ago, it was way rougher than it is now! Two of my sales managers had ankle bracelets, and one of them had to go back to the state pen."

From the sales managers(same one as above), when I told him the story of the two sales managers with ankle bracelets that my sales rep had worked with (see above), in an attempt to convince this manager and the general manager that they really need to start doing background tests, "Well, I was one of those guys with the ankle bracelets..." Ahem.

And to close, one of my own quotes from last night...

To the guy standing outside of my hotel last night, who continued to text on his cell phone and ogle me as I struggled to open the door while juggling a laptop bag, an overnight bag, and some hanging clothes, "I'm sorry sir, but in Dallas where I'm from men open the door for a lady. Are all Oklahomian's completely devoid of manners, or is it just you?"

Edited to add: I just talked to our client, and he is thrilled with my work, so apparently I will be making several more trips to Oklahoma in the near future. And while the above quotes struck me as funny, everyone (with the exception of rude door-guy) has been super nice and very welcoming!


Clinton Kelly - from What Not to Wear

Bradley Cooper - hottie actor

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Spring Shopping Deals!

{I'd recommend that you try these on before making a purchase. I tried on lots of stuff at Kohls yesterday, and the sizing ran anywhere from true to size to running quite larger than normal.}

Simply Vera Wang Ruffled Blazer- $68.60

Elle Pleated Dress - $36.99

Elle Ruffled Cardigan - $31.99

Elle Floral Cardigan - $31.99

Elle Dot Ruffle Blouse - $24.99

AB Studio Navy Pleated Dress - $41.30

AB Studio Scribble Sheath Dress - $41.30

AB Studio Floral Pleat Dress - $41.30


Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains! (Or something like that, does anyone remember the actual words to the song? Am I just making it up that Oklahoma is a musical?)

Anyway, back to business! I'm coming to you this morning LIVE from Midwest City, OK (for you northerners, Midwest City is about 15 minutes outside of Oklahoma City - according to Mapquest). I'm hoping to have lots to do here today, although even if I don't have anyone come in to interview it will be nice to have some time to blog as much as I like...

I'm off to hunt down some {probably bad} coffee and grab a sweater, Oklahoma is not quite the balmy 80 degrees it is in my beloved Dallas today!

Back soon!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mid-Wed Blogger Alert!

It's Wednesday and you know what that means...time to make a new friend! Meet the Newlywed Next Door! She and her husband live in beautiful Southern California (I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous...), and she is just stinkin' adorable!

Bonus: Newlywed Next Door's job requires lots of travel, so tune in to her blog tomorrow for her recurring feature "Travel Trip Thursday"!

(Click on the picture to go to her blog, or click here.)

The Pretty Dress.

You know, that day when you're standing in the middle of your closet, 18 minutes late for work already, and there's a huge pile of discarded clothes around your feet? And there's only one outfit that you can bring yourself to put on?

Do you have a special outfit that you reserve for those days when absolutely nothing looks good?
I do. And I'm wearing it today.

Ann Taylor Loft Lantern Sleeve Dress

All I do is throw on a skinny patent black belt and some black sandals. I give you...insta pretty!

It's not in stores anymore, but you can still find it on e-bay. (At least, I know there is one.)

What's your emergency outfit?

Happy Feet.

Future Farm Wife has a new blog post about...well, just go check it out.


*I laughed until I cried at this.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What am I Wearing...{or, how I'm procrastinating working}

Basic black cardigan


Express flutter sleeve dress


Black tights and patent pumps from White House Black Market

Equals...a fabulously comfy outfit!

The Most Important Room in the House...

Is the closet, of course! (Silly dears, what did you think I was going to say? The kitchen? HAH!).

Here are some lovelies...

The perfect Mrs. Tony Parker {aka Eva Longoria}.

  • Love the demure screen...such glamour.
  • I'm coveting this ladder, I'm short statured like Eva...

Nicky Hilton {aka the not-as-annoying Hilton sister}.

  • The glass doors on the closet make it look cleaner and more elegant.
  • Those drawers would be so very perfect for accessories, etc...
  • Loving her shoes!

Jessica Alba {aka the gorgeous but talentless actress}.

  • Wow. To have all those shoes...
  • I love the idea of hanging hats on the wall.

Kim Cattrall {aka one of my favorite fashion icons}.

  • Black floor = sexy.
  • I'm loving the white shelves - it makes the shoes look like artwork!
  • Is anyone else coveting that leopard print dress?

The mecca of all closets {aka where Carrie-chic began}.

Newlywed Wife-ism - Office Edition.

An unannounced visitor invited himself into the boss's office today, and proceeded to talk for the next hour about nothing of importance. After he left, my boss remarked, "All that talking, and the only thing I could think about was that that gigantic Slim Jim he was gnawing on smelled like a goat's butt!".

*I've retyped this three times - it's hard to type accurately when you're laughing so hard that you can't see straight!

Now On My Nightstand...

There's been a huge surge of young adult fantasy literature of late (hello Twilight!), but I've failed to be impressed by anything - nothing quite measures up to my beloved Chronicles of Narnia.

Harry Potter is well written but the whole witch/wizard thing kind of throws me off.

I just can't bring myself to read the Twilight books because the mental picture of Robert Pattinson icks me out (There's scruffy and then there's for heaven's sakes buy a razor already! He is the latter).

Artemis Fowl is too hard to get into, and a tinge violent for my taste.

Enter: The Lightning Thief.

{Confession time: I decided to read this book because it was $3.98 at 1/2 Price Books - an offer I couldn't pass up.}

The Lightning Thief is the first book in a trilogy about young Percy Jackson, who is a (fairly) ordinary kid (he thinks). Plagued by dislexia and ADHD, Percy has never fit in with other kids. The book ties Greek mythology and modern-day marvels (St. Louis Arch, World Trade Center) together with a dose of humor as well (who knew the entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles? :)

Read it!

2009 Oscar Fashion B-Fest.

Everyone has already beat me to reviewing the beautiful dresses from the Oscar' I'm going to review "The Bad", "The Worse", and "The oh my gosh, she looks like Michael Jackson's closet threw up on her!".

Enjoy, ladies.

Beyonce dear, I am aware that everyone's favorite southern belle Scarlett O'Hara took some drapes and made a fabulous dress out of them. But you are not Scarlett O'Hara, nor are you southern. You're a Texan, and therefore should know that we know the difference between couture and curtains. {Loving the makeup, though.}

Jessica Biel. You look like one of your boobs exploded. And your dress is too long. And please hire a hairstylist.

Oh Mickey you're so fine...wait. No, you're really kind of a trainwreck. Nothing fine about this picture.

Do you think Lisa Rinna used hairspray or superglue as her hair product of choice? {I'm thinking the latter???}

I just can't say anything bad about the fabulous Ms. Sophia Loren. But I can't say anything nice either. So I'm just going to shut up.

And now to end on a good note... Angelina's Pre-Oscar checklist.
Timeless, gorgeous dress? Check
Classic hairdo? Check
Carefully chosen jewelry? Check
Hottie hubby? Check.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Such Fun!

LOVE this website!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I Did Something Crazy...

Newlywed Wife here. One thing you should know about me...I'm spontaneous about pretty much everything except for my hair. I don't really mess with it too much. It stays long and brown. It has looked a lot like this for the past 5 years or so...

Long (sometimes with bangs, mostly without), curly, and big. I have abused my hair within an inch of its poor little life - hot rollers, hairdryers, and curling irons are the triumvirate of hairstyling in my personal opinion.

Yesterday, Newlywed Husband decided to go in for a haircut, and on some whim I decided to go with him. I am NOT a mall haircut kind of girl, I've gone to the same salon in Preston Hollow for 5 years, but...again...on a whim.

I intended to just get a trim, but the hairdresser (gay and fabulous, btw) told me in no uncertain terms that, "Honey, what did you do to your hair? Are you addicted to heat styling?". He was so sweet and confident that I just said, "Do whatever you have to do to make it healthy - just give me some bangs and don't go shorter than my chin."

My hair is still brown (I will not color it until *gasp* the day I find a gray hair), but it looks a lot more like this now...

I'm still figuring out how to style it, he used a flatiron (which was obviously what they used on Jessica's hair, above), and it looked fabulous last night. When I woke up this morning though, it had this weird pouf at the top and was kind of limp at the bottom...verging dangerously into mullet territory. Lest I be called Ricky-Bobby at the office today (yes, my boss would do that without hesitation), I attempted a flatiron/hairdryer/dry shampoo rescue with some limited success. I think I need a small curling iron, because this is how I'd prefer it to look:

Any suggestions?

EDITED TO ADD - I'm pretty much hating the haircut right now. It's flatter than a penny on the railroad tracks, and has zero body. Flatirons are NOT my friend.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Newlywed Wife-isms From Long Ago...

Future Farm Wife and I pretty much wasted the entire day watching two movies (Confessions of a Shopaholic and He's Just Not That Into You), shopping, and my personal favorite activity of the day...spending two hours at Chili's eating an entire order of chips and queso and re-living college days.

Some of the Newlywed Wife-isms from years past...

From a post-college party..."If you drink Goldschlager will it make you poop a nugget?"

From a first date gone horribly awry..."It was a wonderful date...until he went to kiss me good night and I realized that we were the exactly the same height (Newlywed Wife is 5'3" if you're wondering)...and he was standing on the curb!"

Love ya'll!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Karen Walker - Love Her!

She's just...awesome-ness.

And I'm not just saying that because everyone thinks I look and sound like her. {And by everyone I mean even the pretzel lady at the basketball stadium told me that I look like "That lady from the show about the two gay dudes and the paranoid redhead chick"}. The woman is certifiably, crazy-train, hysterically funny.

Honey...bring me a martini...and don't waste any space with those olives!

10 Things I Can Live Without

The Yin to my last post's are 10 things I CAN (absolutely, without question) live without.


1. Aqua eyeshadow. Looks good on 1% of the population. (That doesn't include you).

2. That sickeningly putrid pukey green. This color makes me gag, and the fact that designers mess up perfectly adorable clothes {see coat above} with this sicky color is upsetting to say the least.

3. The cut-out swimsuit. Can anyone say really weird tan lines???

4. Leather/pleather leggings. Rihanna doesn't even look good in these, so just don't even try to pull this fashion disaster off.

5. Suspenders. Appropriate only if you are a grandfather, or really, truly need these to hold your pants up.

6. Fringed flat sandals. Pocahontas called. She wants her shoes back.

7. Logger chic. Is your name Paul Bunyan? Didn't think so.

8. Colored fishnets. I can deal with the black ones, in non-business situations (please don't try to wear fishnets - black or otherwise - to the office unless your office is on a street corner), but colored ones are just garish. They do NOT say "I'm fashion-forward and trendy". They say, "I shop at Stripper R Us".

9. Black nail polish. Other people can pull this off. I can't, I look like I took a wrong turn at Hot Topic.

10. Really poufy, really short skirts. Unless your goal is to increase the size of your rear by 200%...yeah, I didn't think so.

Newlywed Wife-isms

"Having a little boy is like having a chimpanzee...they grab everything, climb anything, and communicate in a series of grunts and screams"...

{Brought to you by my sleep-deprived co-worker, who has a 2 year old boy and a 6 month old boy.}

10 Things I Can't Live Without

Get ready kids...the cheerful, hopeful Newlywed Wife is BACK! No more sad posts for a while (especially since I'm sitting at a client site listening to a manager in the next office attempting to sing "I Wanna Kiss You All Over" - he sounds more like an alley cat than a human, and I'm laughing so hard right now I'm having trouble breathing).

Anyway...May I now present...

10 Things I Can't Live Without!

1. Valentino Purse. My first big present from my honey-boo! I carry it every day - whether it matches what I have on or not. Patent leather, by the way, is the most durable material ever, this purse has been beat up and doesn't show a scratch...

2. Diet Coke. Hi, my name is Newlywed Wife, and I'm addicted to Diet Coke. I mean, seriously addicted. Don't drink the last can, or you'll see a grand-scale hissy fit.

3. P.S. I Love You. This movie has been on HBO almost every time I've folded laundry in the past month. I love Hilary Swank's entire wardrobe from this movie - the girly dresses, boots, and headbands are ever-so pretty {oh, and Gerard Butler is pretty too}.

4. Fluffy VS Robe. Also from the husband. I asked for a bathrobe for my birthday, and this light pink, fleece-lined loveliness came wrapped in pink tissue - I think Newlywed Husband is regretting this purchase, however. This robe is pretty much worn whenever I am at home, goodbye cold nighties, HELLO fleecy goodness!

5. Pink Ann Taylor bow belt. Don't underestimate the power of a skinny, girly belt. I've paired it with everything from jeans and a button-up shirt, to a black dress, to a power-suit at the office. Just putting this belt on makes me feel instantly pretty.

6. Joes Jeans in Provocateur fit. The PERFECT jeans if you are about 5'3" and have 'child-bearing' hips. Dark wash only, light wash jeans are a disaster waiting to happen.

7. Essie 'Fiji' nail polish. Perfection for a summer pedicure.

8. Earrings. I'm terrified of needles, and didn't get my ears pierced until I was 24. {Don't judge me.} But now that I did...WOWSERS! These two little holes added a whole new dimension to my wardrobe :)

9. Diorshow Waterproof Mascara. Like any good Southern girl, I refuse to walk out of my house without mascara...and this is the BEST! In blackest black, of course.

10. Patent high-heeled slides in black and red. Also from Newlywed Husband (he's a little metro, I think), I wear them every day. No joke.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dear Mommy.

13 years ago on this day you lost your battle with breast cancer. Well, actually it happened on the 16th, but we laid you to rest on the 19th...and that was the day that it hit home with our little family.

Everything changed.

Daddy became a single parent; overwhelmed, lonely, and lost without you there to be with him. He had devoted every fiber in his being to fighting the cancer that threatened to take away what mattered most to him for 12 long years and suddenly...there was nothing. All he had worked for was for naught. Nothing mattered to him because he had lost his purpose. Daddy had no idea how to live a normal life, a life where chemo treatments, i.v. drips, and month-long stays at the hospital don't exist. He spent hours sleeping, resentful and angry at God for taking away what he loved the most.

I truly believe that there are two kinds of people: those who have more than one person that they can love, and those who are meant to be with one - and ONLY one person. You and Daddy were the latter - true soulmates in the deepest meaning of the word. You clung to each other, depended on each other, and had the most amazing level of trust that most of us can only hope to someday achieve with our spouse.

There was never a question of how much Daddy loved me - sometimes he loved me too much. Once you were gone, I was all he had left, and it terrified him that he might lose me too. I can't even imagine what he went through the nights I was at college, or in Europe, or alone on a business trip to Canada. Mommy, you were the yin to his yang, the calm balance to his brilliant imagination, and without you around he had no outlet or confidante to go to.

But Daddy wasn't the only one whose whole life changed, when you left it affected me too. The only memories I have before the big C became a part of our life are vague and misty, like a faded Polaroid picture left in the sun too long. Grandma showed me countless pictures of you as a chubby, glowing child, and a beautiful lithe teenager. You were the always the level-headed one, but with a fiery brilliance, she told me.

Growing up, I was awed by you ability to hold your own in any conversation, your dry humor and sarcasm could bring anyone into submission. I know you should have gone to medical school, but instead got your degree and worked at a laboratory so you could spend more time with Daddy and I. Then, when the doctor said the words "breast cancer", you sacrificed any career you may have had to spend time at home with me.

You could have given up countless times, after every painful round of chemo, every bone marrow transplant, every time your hair fell out...but you didn't. Mommy, you fought with everything you had, until you just couldn't do it anymore. I can't even imagine the physical pain you went through, although sometimes I lay awake at night listening to you moan in agony because the cancer was eating you away from the inside.

But through it all you never strayed from your faith, or your steadfast commitment to stay with Daddy and I as long as you could. I never questioned how much you loved us, because you showed me every single day.

Even though I don't really resemble you (or Daddy) physically, you gave me your stubbornness, your sarcasm, and your strength. But more than those, you gave me something that no one can ever take away from me - the knowledge that my Mommy loved me with everything that she had, and fought with everything she had to spend as much time with me as she could.

Daddy and I are doing great, but you already know that. We are closer than ever, and I'm so grateful and happy that he and my husband both like and respect each other immensely. I hope you are pleased with my marriage, and how I've grown into a woman. I wish you could be here with me, but I know you are, in a way.


Your Daughter

This Is How I Feel Today...

Today is a bad hair, can't decide what to wear, have a headache, forced to be out of the office at a client site acting nice even though I feel like crap, hate my job kind of a day. Pray I don't b-slap anyone. Thanks :) Love you.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Does anyone else get super-duper frustrated with blogger and it's tendency to space your posts however it wants? I'm kind of particular about how pictures/captions are spaced and blogger doesn't seem to give a rat's patootie about how I want it to look. GRRRR!

Shop Like the Shopaholic!

The FABULOUS dress...toned down a bit for wearability!

Pink and a darling bow detail at the shoulder!

(not that I have anything against plaid, it's just not my thing).

White Suit + Teal Belt = MIAMI!

The perfect party purple, of course!

(found at Nordstrom's, unfortunately they are all sold out of the purple. There are a ton of them on e-bay though...just none in my size *pout*)

Newlywed Wife-isms.

One of my best girlfriends told me that she loves hanging out with me because she never knows what will come out of my mouth next... (Steph, I love you). Not sure if this is what she was talking about, but here are a few things I've inadvertantly said this week that may be what she was referencing...

To the dog...Winston, stop smelling that pile of poo - other dogs are going to think you're 'special' !

To Newlywed traffic court today there was a 60-something couple making out on my left and two hispanic dudes speaking Farsi and making googly eyes at me on my right. For real, how do you say BACK OFF to these weirdos? Does anyone have an English to Social Miscreant dictionary? Personal space, people!

To Future Farm Wife...Arbor Mist tastes like fruity Sprite. No wonder it was $3.00 for the whole bottle. Oh, and it's a whopping 4% alcohol. *gagging noise*

Not weird. Quirky. Right?

Mid-Week Blogger Alert!

Time to meet the PETTIJOHNS! I've been blog-stalking them for a long time (time to come clean :) and think they are a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e! They're approaching their 1st anniversary, but even more exciting (I KNOW, what could be more exciting than that?) is that they are expecting a BABY!

Super fun! Go give them some bloggy love and enjoy the fruit/baby comparisons - they are guaranteed to make you giggle :)

(Click on the picture to go to the Pettijohn's blog. A word of caution, if you're looking at this at work, turn your speakers off, as they do have music on their page :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Birthday Present S.O.S

Newlywed Husband's birthday is on March 3rd...I already ordered him one of these...but am torn as to what else to get him!


Here are a few more ideas I've had recently...

Another Ferragamo tie

A couples massage at the Ritz Carlton

Concert tickets to...something?

The Guest Bedroom Makeover!

I'm so terribly sorry for my tardiness in posting today my dears, but I was detained for quite some time this morning at court for a speeding ticket (more on that later :).

Enough unpleasantness for now, behold the fabulous guest bedroom makeover! It started as the "bike room"...where Newlywed Husband kept his frequently-used and much-beloved bikes...and of course my treasured loathed! bike as well!

Here are the lone inhabitants of the room pre-makeover:

My bike. Pretty isn't it? If only I knew how to ride it.

His bike. Ridden frequently. It's pretty too. Just not as pretty as mine.

And...drumroll.... Post-makeover!!!

You likey?

EDITED TO ADD: Please don't think that my decorating skills made this room what it is today. Nope, ALL of the furniture, and the bedding was selected by Newlywed Husband...I haven't the slightest clue when it comes to home decor. My forte is limited to candles (note the hurricane on the dresser, and picture frames (covering the desk). Oh, and I picked out the new computer/wireless all-in-one printer/faxer thingy. (Why? Because I'm the blogger in the family...and one must have the proper equipment to blog, yes?)